The curse of the perfect pocket

Not to pigeonhole myself, but there is one hole into which I’m wholly pigeoned. I like the perfect pocket. Which does exist. There is proof, I promise. Cold, hard, clean proof.

A dedicated compartment fits a handful of things perfectly. The commonly known downside: such a tailored fit always costs capacity. And sometimes – the item entirely.

The receipt gets its own slim sleeve where it can’t hang out with the keys. Keys are a bad influence and paper is impressionable. Give it an hour or two and it even learns to jangle. When a child hands me a shell on the beach, of course I have the perfect pocket into which to put it. It’s no coincidence that one of my favorite shirt makers makes a shirt called “The Shell Collector”. Earphones? Let’s not talk about the earphones. It hurts too much.

My obsession with the perfect pocket means I constantly find myself rebuying and regretting what a certain household appliance ends up regurgitating.

Because the perfect fit means the item doesn’t move around. It isn’t uncomfortable. It’s unnoticeable. So you just forget that you placed it there. Even as you take the shirt off. Jacket off. Trousers off. Hell, even some bags are washable, right?

I find their remains when I empty the washing machine. Receipt confetti. At least the shell is naturally good with water. How come it’s always the cheap items that survive! The earphones? Let’s not talk about the earphones. It hurts too much.

With a soft sigh I have to concede: “Well, it was the perfect pocket for it.”